Monday, December 22, 2008

Instead of Dr. Seuss

Aunt Karen was helping Ariel look for wedding vows, and stumbled upon this gem.
Personally, though, I’d say red flag if you’re going to marry a girl and she doesn’t appreciate something like this.

For optimum enjoyment, you really need two people reading this out loud.

“Marty Blase, the author of these vows, writes: ‘My fiancee and I agreed a long time ago that we wanted to write our own wedding vows, and as a spur-of-the-moment idea, I suggested the following. To my disappointment, she didn't quite go for it...’”


THE VOWS
“Pastor: Will you answer me right now
These questions, as your wedding vow?

Groom: Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.

Pastor: Will you take her as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?

Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife,
Yes, I'll love her all my life.

Pastor: Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?

Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you're happy or sad?

Groom: Yes, I'll love through good and bad,
Whether we're happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love her if you're rich?
Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her if we're rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I'll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

Pastor: Will you love her when you're fit,
And also when you're feeling sick?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her when we're fit,
And when we're hurt, and when we're sick,
And I will love her when we're rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

Groom: Yes, I'll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we're rich,
And when we're broke and in a ditch,
And when we're fit, and when we're sick,
(Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I'll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

Pastor: Then if you'll take her as your wife,
And if you'll love her all your life,
And if you'll have, and if you'll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you'll love through good and bad,
And whether you're happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you're poor, and when in wealth,
And if you'll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you'll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:

Pastor and Groom: I DO!

Pastor: You're married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.”


Ariel loved it, but decided it might be too much of a mouthful for them all, especially since she plans on bawling most of the time.

So she compromised and decided that fun could still be had when the bride’s and bridesmaids’ puppets could all join us during the after-ceremony photos.

I’m still working on getting Pastor Gary to do the “Marwiage is what brings us together today” bit from The Princess Bride (at least for the reception) since he may never again find two people and both their families who enjoy the movie.

I’m giggling just thinking about it.

3 comments:

Jek said...

If this would have been said at the wedding, I probably would have been laughing so hard that 9-1-1 would have to of been dialed. Brilliant.

Natalie said...

Haha! That's hilarious! She didn't want to go with that?!! :D

Alisha said...

Oh,that is really good!!! I agree with Jaclyn; if Chatham would have said that at the wedding I would have been laughing so hard that I might have fallen off the platform!! :) - I was suprised by the fact that Ariel really didn't cry as much as she thought she would!!